Winter is here. And my skin feels it. It is that time of the year, when snowing, flaking, inflammation of the skin, itching, insomnia is on its march again. When all seems a bit harder. A bit more challenging. A bit … Am I whining again? Probably … haha.
I guess that I can not help it. All of these tingling and itching sensations are with me throughout all of the days. It feels as if my shelter would collapse yet one more time. As my protection film would be destroyed and I would feel much much more vulnerable again. That is hard to understand if you do not experience it.
“It is just a skin!” is such an underestimating sentence. My boyfriend said it to me in a joke the last time, because he knows very well what I think about that statement. I knew it was a joke. We laughed together. But, damn, it brought something up. It is long ago since I heard it and it remembered me of how angry it makes me feel. Nope, it is not just a skin. It is freaking much more. It is my whole existence. My whole protection layer being damaged. The barrier that is in between me and the world, shredded into pieces.
Yap, exposed. That is the word. I feel exposed. Turning my eyes to the floor sometimes when I would usually feel strong and confident. Feeling small in situations when I see people with their perfect hairstyles, manicures, shining skin, make-ups, dresses put on for special occasions, no worries, happy. Or so it seems. While all I can do is try to look somewhat put together. Somehow ‘fine’.
I know we all have our troubles. I am very aware that EVERYONE has their own issues. O gosh, of course! But sometimes I just can’t help not looking at it from my little narrowed point of view. Where all I can see is just all that I CAN NOT do. Then, again, I have to redirect myself to remember ALL THAT I HAVE! It is not easy sometimes. I can admit, I am sick of my skin falling apart.
“Well, well … It is all okay,” is what I say to myself then, in one moment. When I remember to look from afar again. Bigger picture. Perspective. I am SO MUCH better. Last year I was truly much much worse. And this year … I was able to enjoy autumn. 🍁 Watching the leaves getting yellow, orange, red, brown, and then soon falling down from the branches. It was soo beautiful. The circle of life. Birth – growing up – maturity – oldness – dying. All of it, in the leaves of a tree.
It reminded me of how connected it is all that we experience. It all has its meaning. Learning through challenges is what it is all about, right? Getting up again and again. Stepping forward, each of us in our own shoes and in our own circumstances. It is interesting to see how the tree doesn’t seem to mind losing its leaves. It knows they will come back again. That is the nature of life. It is how Life is.
Maybe I can learn something from the tree. De-attachment from expectations. Letting go. 🍂 Enjoying what is. Making it all a bit more fun. So what if that other girl looks shinier. I have my own charms. I have my own personality. I have all that is needed to be happy. Yes, I have ALL that is needed to be happy.
It feels good to come to that conclusion again. To remember again. Yap, everyone is amazing, just because they are who they are. Each person, each soul brings something special to this world. You are amazing. Your Flame is amazing. Your personality is one of a kind. Your troubles are one of a kind, too. Haha … All the hard will pass. Being grateful for all the beauty in one’s life is what brings relief.
I meditate a lot lately and I absolutely love it. It centres me in here and now. I do a lot of IST regressions. I have my own things to figure out at the moment and it does scare me, but at the same time, it makes me feel excited. So much can happen in one year. We can create so much. Achieve so much. Change anything that doesn’t suit us. The skin in which I’m in … well, is the only one that I have. So, I decide to adore it.
I will do my best to take care of it, by trying to find better creams for it and supplements to support its regeneration. That is my mission now. Well, and I have others, but some can stay hidden. 😉
In this crazy beautiful terrifying marvellous world, enjoy your Christmas and have a beautiful New Year. Surround yourself with love. From the outside and especially from the INSIDE.
With gentleness and love,
Oh, and by the way: I created a new FB page Svet v tebi (The world inside) Yaaay! 😃
I am sharing daily motivation and perspective there, mostly in Slovenian language, but I will share posts in English as well from time to time. If you wish, I am happy to invite you to join me. 🥰 Click here: https://www.facebook.com/svetvtebi/
… And just for the end. If the situation in the main photo doesn’t look so good. Well, I really AM much better than I was. 🙂 This is how I was last year … and more, my skin is much less sensitive now as well. So, healing IS happening. Even if I sometimes forget that. We got this! … And we can achieve anything, remember?